How To Change Behaviour Patterns Part 1/2

Cycles, Cycles and More Cycles!

A stereotypical illustration of a action cycle which can be applied to any lifestyle change

A stereotypical illustration of a action cycle which can be applied to any lifestyle change

I observe a lot in my Ultimate Health community and within my clients, cycles that people move around and within.  

What do I mean by 'cycles'?

Those cycles generally show up in the form of:

“Why does this always happen to me?"

"Why am I always doing this?"

"Why does this always happen for me in this way?"

"Why do I always…?”

It generally shows me the red flag that someone is stuck in a repeating behaviour pattern that doesn't serve them when somebody says, “This is always happening or this always happens to me when... or after so much time this always happens.”  When they say these things over and over there's often a common denominator word for people, which leads to a subconscious belief they are manifesting into their reality as a result of their thoughts, feelings and actions.

Let's look at health practices to stop that cycle, and even reverse it!


Let's say it's a diet; you're watching your weight or you're following a healthy eating regime.

“Oh, I always give up after 21 days."

"I always start to find it really hard after a couple of months."

"Whenever I've achieved my maintenance weight I always then start to include treats.”

Sound familiar?

Spot the cycles.

Now let's look at relationships.

“This always happens to me."

"I always end up breaking up with people."

"I always end up being dumped.”

Spot the cycles.

Now let's look at money.

“I'm always running out of money at the end the month."

"I always have to borrow money.”

"I never have enough money"

Now, self-care or self-love.

“I always run out of time for taking care of myself."

"When I'm doing my meditations it always gets to the weekend and then I don't bother because I’m out of the routine.”

Can you see where I'm going with this?

Are you seeing yourself in one of those cycles?  

These examples are actually a really disempowering cycles.  There are many more.  Chances are there's a cycle that's been going on for a long time and you may have even picked that cycle up from somebody else at some point in your life, hearing them say that or feeling their energy as they've said that, being in that kind of mindset themselves.  What this belief does is it puts you in a victim mentality that worries you.  Subconsciously, you are asking yourself “How can I ever achieve this when (XYZ) always happens to me or I always give up or I always struggle or it's always difficult?”  

Each time you then attempt to take action to change your situation, something or someone comes up that becomes an obstacle that prevents you from achieving it, therefore reinforcing the belief and the cycle even more!

Here's what to do if you spot yourself in a cycle:

Take the bull by the horns, so to speak and take responsibility for everything you want to have - for all the health, all the happiness, all the confidence, all the motivation, and all the desire, all the money that you could ever want.  I'm guessing that's what you want to feel, isn't it?  You want to feel happier, lighter, motivated, more confident, and driven to achieve everything you want to achieve?  And you wouldn't be unlike anybody else if they were the key things that you wanted because we all have this desire to be healthy and to be happy and loved.

When we can't always get to that weight, or stay there, there’s the cycle coming up to be seen.

When we can't keep a relationship, there's a cycle and belief playing out in your reality. 

It's up to you to change it.  

The power is inside of us to be able to take control of that cycle and belief, take responsibility for it and stop these self-sabotage cycles; to really stop these patterns of overwhelm, anxiety, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth or self-belief stopping you from achieving what it is that you want to achieve in your life, because you can have anything you want.  You can have anyone you want as well when it comes to relationships.

If you give up too easily or you tell yourself you have never got the time or it's always going to be difficult, it is always going to be a sacrifice and you will always not have the time, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So I want you to catch yourself out when you hear yourself say things like that!

Next time you hear yourself talking to yourself harshly, or to somebody else about a healthy regime, or that treat that you're going to have when you're actually meant to be eating really healthy, or deciding not to go out for that walk when you know you really should and you need to, catch yourself out and ask yourself; “Is this because I always think it's going to be difficult, or I always think it's going to be a sacrifice, or I always think that I will always give up anyway?”  Your own questions may vary from these!

Bring up that cycle and check yourself out from the neck up and just ask yourself:

“What do I need to do to address this?  Because if I want to do something different, if I want to have different results, I'm going to have to do something different to what I have always done.”

As you do that and identify the cycle, you'll start to realise you can bring awareness to it that will allow you to change those cycles and change those cycles to positive ones.  You can do this numerous ways; here are a few!

  1. Set about chaining the subconscious beliefs reinforcing this pattern with hypnosis, hypnotherapy, EFT
  2. Making non-negotiables with yourself about what you do for you and what you do for others
  3. Deciding what self-care or what nutrition you put in your body
  4. Committing to what exercise you do
  5. Being willing to commit and show up in relationships with others.  That might just be with your children, it might be with partners, it might be with friends, it might be with colleagues, or clients. Those relationships rely on two people showing up and if you are always feeling like you're invisible or always feeling hidden or always feeling like you're overwhelmed, then you're going to struggle to really find that balance in relationships with other people who also have their own stuff going on, until you can work with your stuff and really release those layers.

If you are running some kind of cycle, you might have picked this up from somewhere else or something else so there's a pattern of beliefs that aren't necessarily yours to hold on to.

The most obvious pattern of this generally comes from childhood; between the ages of conception and 7 years, we are picking up every single thing around us.  We're like a sponge, we're just soaking up every word, every experience, every scene, every memory, everything we witness, everything we hear, we're picking it all up and we're already starting to build our reality around them because they become our filters to how we view our world.  We can't help it at that age.  We don't know how to verbalise how we're feeling eloquently, how we're thinking, and we don't know how to ask questions to see if there are other perspectives.  Everything just feels very concrete when we're at that age, black, or white.


If you feel you have this kind of cycle or pattern, I would love to invite you to my “Upgrade Your Inner Child 3-part Mini-course”. It's self-paced and you have access to me as your health and life coach to support you through exploring how your inner child is playing with your current reality. When you identify the inner child programming that's forming these cycles of self-sabotage, of overwhelm, of anxiety, the things that aren't serving you in your health, in your happiness, and in your relationships, then you can really get to know that inner child.

By getting to know that inner child you start to really make friends with them and that is when you realise these self-sabotaging cycles happen, your inner child is digging their heels in and they're not wanting to go in the direction that you're going in because they feel like you may become detached from them or they feel like they're protecting you in some way or some other reason that they think is in your best interest, but it's not and it's not helping you at all.

We'll also identify exactly when, where, how, and why that started to happen; why your inner child started to behave that way.  

Then we're going to be moving into upgrading your inner child -  to really start to have them running in the same direction as you hand-in-hand towards your dreams and your goals of health, happiness, relationships, abundance and everything else you want.

If you want to feel excited, if you want natural motivation, if you want to use the power you have and you are ready to take responsibility for making those changes, if you want to grab that power to change your reality, this is the key to be able to do that.

There is a warning with this mini-course!   It will induce creativity, desire, actions to have everything you want!  It will inject determination, as well as allowing things to really go with ease and flow.  It will remove fear of failure.  It will remove, more importantly, fear of success because that’s a massive cycle that people run through with self-sabotage and will also eradicate the childhood limiting beliefs that have been holding you back in the past whether or not you know about them now.

If you know that you don't have the health or happiness you really want, then you most likely have some kind of childhood pattern of belief that will be playing out in your reality these days. It's just a case of finding that, identifying it, making friends with it, and allowing it to release to allow you to have the life you want to have.  

Change the behaviour patterns and the cycles will change.  Change the cycle and your results will change!

Let me know in the comments if you have any questions, or contact me directly if you have questions about the Upgrade your Inner Child Mini-course!



How To Change Behaviour Patterns Part 2/2

How To Change Behaviour Patterns Part 2/2

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